Take my ass to jail

> A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of
> the Virginia / West Virgina State line. When the trooper asked the driver
> why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was
> on his way to Beckley WV to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want
> to be late.
>
> The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the
> driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a
> ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have
> anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and
> asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper
> got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
>
> While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A
> drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out, watched the performance,
> then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The
> trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking
> the drunk what he thought he was doing.
>
> The drunk replied: 'You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't
> no way I can pass that test.'