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| | funny doctors | |
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+5Pops kgcyrus Glenna Gadget Jeff M bubba53 9 posters | Author | Message |
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bubba53 Moderator
Number of posts : 12045 Age : 70 Location : statesville,nc Registration date : 2009-08-29
| Subject: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 12:15 am | |
| 1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .' My wife's going
to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed
out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take
off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were
several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on
an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior
chest wall. 'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed. 'Yes, they
used to be,'. . .replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a
wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial
infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a
'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with
his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was
having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one?' I
asked. 'The patch. The Nurse told me to put on a new one
every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put
it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped
I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his
body!
Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch
before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I
asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of
complete confusion she answered 'Why, not for about twenty
years - when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson - Corvallis, OR
6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and
while checking up on a man I asked 'So how's your breakfast
this morning?' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky
Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste' Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil
packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit
7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young
woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk,
sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange
clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the
patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for
immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the
operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read
'Keep off the grass.'
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry ... had
to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB I was quite
embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover
my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of
whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was
performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and
sheepishly said 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from
laughing so hard 'No doctor but the song you were whistling
was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener''.
Dr. wouldn't submit his name....
ONE MORE
Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud. I hope it will give you a
smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,
waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first
exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked
his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby
was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and
rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and
detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the
doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't
have any milk.'
I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came.' | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 4:39 am | |
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| | | Jeff M
Number of posts : 1777 Location : Moneta Va Registration date : 2009-02-16
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 6:24 am | |
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| | | Glenna Gadget
Number of posts : 2 Location : Hillsboro, Ohio Registration date : 2010-04-23
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 8:14 am | |
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| | | kgcyrus
Number of posts : 342 Age : 54 Location : kenova wv Registration date : 2009-07-28
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 9:34 am | |
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| | | Pops
Number of posts : 1259 Age : 65 Location : Baytown, TX Registration date : 2009-02-20
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 5:47 pm | |
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| | | clayb
Number of posts : 580 Age : 54 Location : mount holly, nc Registration date : 2009-03-03
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 7:18 pm | |
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| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 9:20 pm | |
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| | | Steve K
Number of posts : 1236 Age : 56 Location : Tobaccoville NC Registration date : 2009-04-21
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 9:29 pm | |
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| | | Firepup
Number of posts : 574 Location : Marysville, Oh Registration date : 2009-11-11
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 10:12 pm | |
| I dont know were you find these but keep them coming. That is good reading | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 24th 2010, 11:05 pm | |
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| | | 4x4dad
Number of posts : 231 Age : 61 Location : Butler Pa. Registration date : 2010-01-23
| Subject: Re: funny doctors April 25th 2010, 1:56 am | |
| Good suff ! | |
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