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+6yellowzx01 4x4dad Pops WV Hot Rod Rhino big g bubba53 10 posters | Author | Message |
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bubba53 Moderator
Number of posts : 12045 Age : 70 Location : statesville,nc Registration date : 2009-08-29
| Subject: The new guy June 9th 2010, 9:38 pm | |
| A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.'
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spooky.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do Not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'take this and eat it for it is my body.' He did not say ' Eat me'
12)The Virgin Mary is not called ' Mary with the Cherry'.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. | |
| | | big g
Number of posts : 3689 Age : 64 Location : Stokesdale N.C-HillTop WVA Registration date : 2010-02-04
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 9th 2010, 10:00 pm | |
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| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 9th 2010, 10:09 pm | |
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| | | WV Hot Rod Rhino Admin
Number of posts : 5386 Age : 57 Location : Mount Hope, WV Registration date : 2009-10-06
| | | | Pops
Number of posts : 1259 Age : 65 Location : Baytown, TX Registration date : 2009-02-20
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 9th 2010, 11:39 pm | |
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| | | 4x4dad
Number of posts : 231 Age : 61 Location : Butler Pa. Registration date : 2010-01-23
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 10th 2010, 12:26 am | |
| Sounds like Apple Pie ???????? | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 10th 2010, 12:33 am | |
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| | | yellowzx01
Number of posts : 796 Age : 43 Location : Charleston, WV Registration date : 2009-03-05
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 10th 2010, 12:42 am | |
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| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 10th 2010, 2:24 am | |
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| | | Jeff M
Number of posts : 1777 Location : Moneta Va Registration date : 2009-02-16
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 10th 2010, 6:24 am | |
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| | | bigsid
Number of posts : 6 Location : florida Registration date : 2009-12-05
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 10th 2010, 8:12 am | |
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| | | kodiakman
Number of posts : 899 Age : 71 Location : Wise VA Registration date : 2009-05-29
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 10th 2010, 9:57 am | |
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| | | shawn
Number of posts : 5230 Age : 50 Location : Beaver, WV Registration date : 2009-02-11
| Subject: Re: The new guy June 10th 2010, 1:01 pm | |
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