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| | Holiday Eating Tips | |
| | Author | Message |
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Timmi
Number of posts : 1623 Age : 70 Location : Christiansburg, Virginia Registration date : 2012-11-25
| Subject: Holiday Eating Tips December 16th 2013, 8:51 am | |
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- Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
- Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
- If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
- As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
- Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
- Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
- If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
- Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
- Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
- One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Reread tips, then start over. But hurry: January is just around the corner. | |
| | | pit dog
Number of posts : 4423 Age : 64 Location : charleston WV Registration date : 2010-01-28
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 16th 2013, 11:30 am | |
| Gained five pound just reading instructions. | |
| | | Timmi
Number of posts : 1623 Age : 70 Location : Christiansburg, Virginia Registration date : 2012-11-25
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 16th 2013, 11:38 am | |
| After reading number 7 I think this may have been written for women :) | |
| | | Rick S
Number of posts : 2791 Age : 54 Location : dublin,va Registration date : 2012-02-19
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 16th 2013, 8:11 pm | |
| Damm I'm happy where is the food | |
| | | Ron(09rzr)
Number of posts : 1149 Age : 39 Location : avella pa Registration date : 2011-03-09
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 16th 2013, 8:26 pm | |
| Thats the greatest holiday guide i have ever seen....now when my wife says i am eating to much i can let her read this.... | |
| | | T Wood
Number of posts : 1313 Age : 56 Location : Dillwyn Va. Registration date : 2013-07-10
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 16th 2013, 9:29 pm | |
| Someone knows how to enjoy the Holidays. | |
| | | big g
Number of posts : 3689 Age : 64 Location : Stokesdale N.C-HillTop WVA Registration date : 2010-02-04
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 16th 2013, 9:50 pm | |
| the time i drink all the egg nog i will b to drunk to eat | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 17th 2013, 10:39 am | |
| Who all is havn a party I am hungry |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 17th 2013, 3:15 pm | |
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| | | Yotehunter66
Number of posts : 2119 Age : 58 Location : Clayton, Michigan Registration date : 2011-03-23
| Subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips December 18th 2013, 10:59 am | |
| Thanks a lot now I'm hungry! | |
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