Famous quotes

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'


Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

when someone asks how long you been married say , 2..............damn long

oh no he aint finished!

Some of those are just WRONG.... but so true...

hey BUBBA do you know my wife?


what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?








nothing u already told her TWICE!!

lol all in fun

The most famous quote is"hold my beer and watch this!!!"

i take my wife everywhere i go...cuz i cant stand to kiss the bitch goodbye...lol...im not married heard that from a friend i use to work with and laughed my ass off